Remember being fourteen? Lounging around your best friend’s bedroom, giggling under the influence of nail polish fumes and excess chocolate whilst daydreaming about one day getting married, having kids… you know, really living actual real-live life?
Ah, being married — someone to kiss all the time and, you know, (ahem) other stuff, and with whom you’d never ever fight. Having kids — little clones of yourself to raise with perfection, because you would never scold, never yell, never make them do a single thing they didn’t want to do. You would always UNDERSTAND them.
[Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. Thor is actually quite happy to kiss me all the time and when we fight it’s about dumb stuff when we get tired and cranky (and I’m afraid I’m the provocateur more often than not). I think we do an increasingly good job of trying not to scold or yell most of the time, and are developing massive skills in the persuasion/distraction arena so essential with toddlers. End disclaimer.]
So the other day I went out on a “mommy date” with a friend of mine. She didn’t bring her kids, and I left Owlet at home. Platypup is still small and cute and, as long as he’s getting his milk on, quiet, so he doesn’t really count. And it kind of blew us both away. We had sentences — whole paragraphs, if we wanted them! — back and forth, sitting down in a smallish coffee shop. For two hours. (Actually, turns out it was more than two hours. I’ve got the parking ticket to prove it…)
I’ve been so focused on food and sleep, I’ve left other cravings unattended.
Whole studies have been done on the importance of women having close female friends. (Something about our brains, blah blah blah, yes, I’m too lazy to google it.) Even if all we do is take turns nodding vigorously and saying, “yeah, I totally get you on that,” we are happier, healthier people for it. And when you have a conversation that explodes into random areas of your life, finding connections everywhere, and never stagnates or pauses awkwardly or hits a dead-end polite “ok, sure” — well, then you’ve really hit the jackpot.
Can you tell I haven’t made it to my knitting group in awhile? Yeah, that’s pretty much the only place I talk to people without any kids around who aren’t my students. But Thor’s been working Thursdays and then the one I’d’ve been able to make was the day I got mastitis…
The point being, I love me some of this:
…but now that I’m married with children, sometimes I just need to lounge around with a good friend like we’re fourteen again.