Three Cheers for Victoria and Albert!
[Originally written two years ago and given as a toast for my stepsister’s wedding. Happy second anniversary, “Victoria” and “Albert!”]
Kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent. Albert has a long list of traits that are perfect for Victoria.
And so, in due course, he passed Round One of testing.
Yes, as everyone knows, friends and relations are The Jury. Both consciously and unconsciously their collective verdict carries weight.
Men who are kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent sometimes take awhile to find, but there is a decent number of them in the world. I have one myself.
That is why Round Two is important.
In Round Two, we leave the jury box for the nature observatory. We hunker down in the undergrowth, binoculars trained, and wait patiently. If we’re very lucky, before our feet fall asleep we’ll see something grow.
This indescribable something has no color and yet it glows; no shape and yet it surrounds; no size and yet it fills any space to the brim. There are no bullet points to check off, but we know it when we see it, and deep in our souls we know that, to survive, a marriage must feast upon it as vigorously as we have tackled these delicacies tonight.
Before my very eyes, this indescribable something — which must be a species of mint — sprang up all around and between Victoria and Albert. You can see it when they are together, and see it just as plainly when they are apart. It is woven through their hair and growing up between their toes, and I am certain their marriage will never go hungry.
I don’t believe in soul mates predestined. I believe, if a couple is both hardworking and lucky, their souls grow increasingly mated with time. Victoria and Albert are both kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent, and the love between them is bursting forth in flower today. I believe decades from now we’ll find them swinging on the porch swing of their nursing home at dusk, soul mates watching the first stars appear.
Anyway, now that the jury has assembled, I’d like all who think Albert (and Victoria!) have passed both Round One and Round Two with flying colors to raise a glass and say, “congratulations!”