I’m stealing just the first sentence of Victoria’s recent Facebook post because it is perfect:
“Before Pride month is over, I just want to make sure everyone knows that I’m not straight.”
What am I, then?
Because obviously I am married to a man and I love him and we have kids.
Which is kind of like being inadvertently closeted. Because while I am not ashamed of who I am, it just doesn’t come up in conversation now as often as it did in college.
So what am I?
All my life, I have been attracted to individual people.
(This is from a sticker you can buy here.)
Many would label a statement like this bisexual. Some call it pansexual to make sure all possible gender identifications are included.
Personally, I think it should be everyone’s default assumption about others. Because it sort of covers all the bases.
Not to mention it covers that tricky concept that one is NOT attracted to all members of a particular gender, no matter what one’s declared orientation may be. Put me in a room of 100 people and I’m only going to be even remotely attracted to a handful. Let me actually have a conversation with each of those few and the odds I would even consider a first date with one of them are slim.
Not to mention the additional crucial fact of fidelity. Bi/pansexuality sometimes gets a bad rap because people assume it means you are sleeping with “everyone.” People are entitled to make their own rules about monogamy vs. polygamy, but for me, when I am with someone, I am with them exclusively. That means that since I am married to a man I am indistinguishable from a married straight woman who shares my views on fidelity.
Until I post about it on my blog, that is. Haha.