Word Winding

attempting to spin cacophony into sanity

Archive for the tag “soul mates”


Our culture hardwires us believe that we are destined to find a soul mate to complete us. A family to complete us. Friends to complete us.

We have a different approach to plant life. Conventional wisdom says that the needs of plants are important but not more so than our own; we take care of them when life is good and forgive ourselves for not tending to them when life is difficult. We applaud their beauty, respect their longevity, and begrudgingly admire their tenacity, considering them “scenery,” a backdrop that might influence our lives but would never be permitted in the director’s chair.

I am inclined to believe we have our wires utterly crossed.

Imagine a culture that absolutely encourages its people to support their partner’s, family’s, friends’ needs — but not forsake their own. That offers ready forgiveness when one is unable to tend to the other in difficult times. That promotes lavish admiring of one another’s traits but ultimately expects each individual to sit in their own director’s chair, influenced by but not relinquishing control to their loved ones.


hubba hubba

Now imagine a culture that believes that animals and plants are destined to complete one another. Where just being together fulfills the primary need of both. A culture that overflows with manuals, mantras, and workshops on forming a more perfect union with one’s garden. That writes poems, songs, and dramedies about the primal dance of oxygen and carbon dioxide. The way each nourishes the other — even beyond death itself, the two merging into one. 

How one will die without the other.

That’s the world I choose to live in. Are you with me?

Our summer solstice circle this year


Three Cheers for Victoria and Albert!

[Originally written two years ago and given as a toast for my stepsister’s wedding. Happy second anniversary, “Victoria” and “Albert!”]

Kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent. Albert has a long list of traits that are perfect for Victoria.

And so, in due course, he passed Round One of testing.

Yes, as everyone knows, friends and relations are The Jury. Both consciously and unconsciously their collective verdict carries weight.

Men who are kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent sometimes take awhile to find, but there is a decent number of them in the world. I have one myself.

That is why Round Two is important.

In Round Two, we leave the jury box for the nature observatory. We hunker down in the undergrowth, binoculars trained, and wait patiently. If we’re very lucky, before our feet fall asleep we’ll see something grow.

This indescribable something has no color and yet it glows; no shape and yet it surrounds; no size and yet it fills any space to the brim. There are no bullet points to check off, but we know it when we see it, and deep in our souls we know that, to survive, a marriage must feast upon it as vigorously as we have tackled these delicacies tonight.

Before my very eyes, this indescribable something — which must be a species of mint — sprang up all around and between Victoria and Albert. You can see it when they are together, and see it just as plainly when they are apart. It is woven through their hair and growing up between their toes, and I am certain their marriage will never go hungry.

I don’t believe in soul mates predestined. I believe, if a couple is both hardworking and lucky, their souls grow increasingly mated with time. Victoria and Albert are both kindhearted and handsome, steadfast and true, fun and intelligent, and the love between them is bursting forth in flower today. I believe decades from now we’ll find them swinging on the porch swing of their nursing home at dusk, soul mates watching the first stars appear.

Anyway, now that the jury has assembled, I’d like all who think Albert (and Victoria!) have passed both Round One and Round Two with flying colors to raise a glass and say, “congratulations!”

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, 1854 (Roger Fenton [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, 1854
(Roger Fenton [Public domain])


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